It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
