there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
