hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
