Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
