would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
