i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!