Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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