my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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