This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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