Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
