Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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