Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
