Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
