Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It was confusing and full of hummus
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize