Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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