if only i could text you this smell
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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