You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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