Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
