I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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