??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
