Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you made out with another girl for some wings
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
