i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
do herpes really smell.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me