I just made out with a guy for $7.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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