It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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