So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!