Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
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You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
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High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.