I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
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I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.