Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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