I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
