I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
