if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
