i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I supernannyed him into submission
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
