I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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