Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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