i wish there were pregnant emoticons
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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