just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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