is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
