you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
