420 ftw
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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