whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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