I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize