I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
