Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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