i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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