no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
