I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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