At least make sure they are 18
Why
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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