Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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