i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
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You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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