are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
