Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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