Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just gargled with NyQuil
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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