actually, I'm a sock model
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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