She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My hand turned me down
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
