why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
