You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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