She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
