i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
