i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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