if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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