in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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