My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
