I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Drake has all the answers
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
