I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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