Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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