Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
