i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize