Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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